What does it mean to be a military parent?
It means we sat with the recruiter listening to every word uttered to our child. With a catch in our heart, we either signed papers to allow our 17-year-old child to enlist or watched as our new young adult signed on the dotted line, over and over, the paperwork never seeming to end. Some of us may have had tears in our eyes, others may have smiled from ear to ear. Each of us knows that the life of our son or daughter would forever be altered.
We express our pride and gratitude for having a child in this tumulus world willing to do what only 1% of the entire U.S. population will ever do, put on the uniform of the United States military to uphold all we hold dear.
We watch with a catch in our throat and an ache in our heart as the recruiter drives away with our beloved child, or we sit at MEPS with pride swelling in our breast as they raise their right hand and utter the oath “I “state your name”, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against ALL enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.”
We put them on buses and planes and send them off to mysterious lands in Great Lakes, IL; Parris Island or San Diego, CA; Fort Benning, GA, Fort Jackson, South Carolina, or Fort Leonard Wood, MO; Cape May, N.J. or maybe Lackland AFB, TX.
We’ll look for groups of people who understand what it’s like to send your child off to the military, join facebook pages for support, peruse the official military pages for a glimpse of our child. We’ll wait for that phone call home, depending on branch and base, but they are pretty standard, “I’ve arrived safely, please do not send food or bulky items, I will contact you in 7-10 days via a letter with my new mailing address, thank you for your support, Goodbye for now.” Next, comes the “letter” the very first one – it’s scripted with barely any information but it’s precious to us. Then we receive the dreaded BOX that thing that contains everything civilian our child had with them on arrival and we wait.
We wait, we worry, their time can range from 7-12 weeks depending on the branch. They may or may not call, they’ll likely write. They may be sad, they may cry, and our hearts will break. Then comes that magic moment when they make it through the crucible, the reaper; battle stations; or victory forge. This call tells us that you’ve now become A Marine, A Sailor, A Soldier, a Coast Guardsman, or an Airman.
After the long weeks, we watch with pride as you march across the parade deck with others who’ve achieved the same goal and the first hug is nearly like a rebirth. Then we send you off to your MOS, A School, or AFSC school where you’ll learn your trade. Another graduation and you join the fleet. You may be stateside or overseas but you’ve now become a new person.
Even those of us that served are still mystified by being a military parent. We attempt to learn all we can, we become motto and wear everything that signifies our service members branch of service, with pride.
There’s a strange new thing called the “green dot” that becomes a mainstay for parents whose military member is serving overseas. We wait for phone calls or letters, we worry, but we also feel a unique pride in knowing that our child is the best of the best. He or she is a member of the United States Military, the most amazing military in the world.
Smart enemies fear us, dumb enemies try us, we hear the news, we know what ISIS, the Taliban, and that little turd in North Korea are up to and we worry – but we also remind ourselves and others that our child is the crème d’ la crème. Our child is a Marine, a Sailor, a Soldier, a Coast Guardsman, or an Airman. We know our child is trained and ready for whatever comes at him or her.
We rest well at night knowing that should the enemy force our hand our government will release the “Teufel Hunde – Devil Dogs” the Marines a name given by the Germans – “The Bloody Bucket – US Army” – “The Blue or Grey Ghost – U.S. Navy” – each of these nicknames reminds us of the fury of the American military member when protecting all the homeland holds dear.
We are proud of our kids, we know they worked hard to earn the title they bear. We know that while we worry they stand ever ready, ever watchful. We know that the branches tease each other about who’s the best, but we also know that when the crap hits the fan there is no other force in the world that compares to the United States Military Forces.
Every night we say a prayer for our service member and every single military member out there, regardless of branch, regardless of job specialty, regardless of rank. We all weep together when a son or daughter is lost, when another mother, father, wife, husband, child, or family earns the classification “Gold Star.” We sleep well at night knowing that our sons and daughters are ever ready to defend the homeland. We know the terms Oohrah, Hooyah, hooah, and realize they are terms of motivation.
Sleep well America – and know that your United States Military has your back. Know that the military parents support their sons and daughters who’ve written the "check payable to the United States of America for the cost of up to and including my life." These are kids, every single one of them, who’ve volunteered to serve during a time of war.
**Dawn Schwarz-Gay